The Spradley Four

Today's Feature

Journal entry from Mr. Button Battery

It is not every day that one gets to leave their boring life encased in a calculator, sheltered from the world, and ignorant of life beyond… Tuesday, January 9^th, 2007 was just such a day for me! Ever since I was born in Shanghai and placed in that calculator, I have often wished I could have a more exciting life… to see the Pyramids, the Great Wall, Niagra Falls… instead I have lived in this dark tomb, shielded from the world and it’s wonders.

I should have seen it coming; there have been a few times that those chubby fingers have felt my smooth shiny surface, but on that day, her curiosity would only be satisfied to experience me with another one of her senses. While her mother’s back was turned fixing lunch, she slipped me into her mouth, rolled me around with her tongue and then all the lights went out and I felt myself plummet down, down, until...SPLISH! Chunks of kiwi, grilled cheese, walnuts, soon joined me in the pool.

I heard a muffled voice outside, “Natania, where did the battery go?” … silence… “Natania, do you see this calculator? Where is the battery? Is it in your shoe? Yes Did you eat it? Yes” The woman’s voice was calm, as she spoke again, “I don’t think she ate it… she’s never done anything like that!” A man’s voice responded, “This could be very serious, maybe we should take her to get X-rays!” After some deliberation they decided my fate. I was on slow track out of there. This wasn’t really what I had in mind for an adventure of exploring the wonders of the world. I began to miss the refuge of my dry, snug slot in the back of the calculator…

I'm leaving out the gory details of the remainder of my journey over these past 72 hours. Needless to say, after two fruitless searches for the mom, the dad got the honors on the third diaper change. He found me after what must have been a stomach churning experience! Third times a charm! Freedom at last! I’m grateful to be in one piece, out of that stuffy place where I’ve seen things I never wanted to or hope to see again!